Monday, December 1, 2008
That about describes the rambling chaos going through my mind in the early hours of this morning. Heart beating fast, panic drawing near.
By this point last time, I'd decorated the nursery, organized Matthew's clothes in his closet by colour and size, stacked his stuffed animals neatly in a row on a shelf, packed my hospital bag, got the birth announcement ready, had the newborn diapers laid out in a pretty blue basket and had several nursing bras at the ready, which occasionally I would hold out in front of me at arms length and peer at fearfully. It all sat excitedly waiting in the nursery for our son to come.
The thing with the 2nd pregnancy is the comfort of knowing what's ahead, and that leads to a sort of lethargy around what needs to be done to prepare. There isn't the same fear of birth (not yet anyway) or what the days following the birth will entail. You know what's coming.
I think, maybe just a little, I've been denying the impending arrival of our new person. I've been fighting my size, my energy levels and my general ability to be on the go all the time. I'm starting to weaken and I don't want to admit it. Yes I should slow down but honestly, I'm not the type to nap in the middle of the day. I wish I was. I'm more likely to pour another cup of coffee...
Posted by Lady Mama at 1:30 PM