This morning, while I was standing in line trying to decide whether to have a bagel with cream cheese or a piece of banana loaf, a little conversation was going on in my head. The two controversial voices - Hungry and Willpower - were at each other's throats.
Hungry: Oh yum, bagel and cream cheese. Well I did miss lunch today so it's all good.
Willpower: What!? Don't even think about it lady. You have weight to loose. I swear if you even raise the edge of a cream cheese bagel to your mouth you will become a huge lardy fatso for the rest of your life.
Hungry: Oh come on! Give me a break! I just had a baby four months ago... So all the weight hasn't come off yet.. It'll come off. I just need a little more time.
Willpower: Ha! That's what you think you weakling. Maybe instead of standing in this high-calorie food queue you should be busting your behind on a running track somewhere.
Hungry: Shut up Willpower you killjoy. I'm getting the cream cheese.
The thing about loosing the baby weight is, it doesn't always melt away like you imagined it would. Not even if you were slim before you got pregnant. Not even if you breastfeed (because all the books claim breastfeeding is great for weightloss. Um no). Not even if you plead with the universe to magically strip off a few pounds while you're asleep. Not even after you've tried for the fifth time in the same week to squeeze into the old skinny jeans that really honestly did used to fit.
Oh, unless you're like Heidi Klum, who walked a Victoria's Secret catwalk in a bikini just two months after giving birth to her son with not a trace of excess flesh in sight.
Unfortunately I am not like Heidi Klum. So I'm resigned to the fact that there is only one way I can get back to my old self. Working out. Hard-core style. Regrettably those brisk walks to the park with the stroller are not cutting it. Nor are the energetic sprints up and down the stairs with the laundry.
So here's to my mission to loose 15 lbs. I'm clinging to the fact that all this working out will earn me the right to indulge in the occasional (i.e. every other night) wine and chocolate. That's true, right?