Monday, July 20, 2009

Chocaddiction

Let's examine the facts about chocolate:
  • Chocolate is good for you*
  • Chocolate has high nutritional value*
  • Chocolate shared with another person contains no calories whatsoever*
  • Chocolate can help you to loose weight*
  • Chocolate can prevent illness and disease*
  • Chocolate is an excellent breakfast meal*
  • Chocolate can be used as a weapon to fight criminals*
Okay all of that was a barefaced lie.

But chocolate must contain some favorable properties, otherwise how do you explain the immense feeling of happiness when I eat it? The chocoholics among you will agree there's nothing quite like the smooth sugary explosion of euphoria that takes place when a piece of chocolate enters your mouth.


So yes, I have a small chocolate addiction problem thing. And I'm not the only one.

The story of chocolate in this household goes like this.

Chapter 1: One month before Halloween
J: "Can you pick up a few bags of Halloween candy for the kids?"
Sarah: "Okay."
Innocently buys two large bags of candy.

Chapter 2: One week before Halloween
Sarah: "All the candy is gone! Did we eat it all?"
J: "Umm?"
Back to the store for more candy. This time it's placed on the highest shelf in the cupboard.

Chapter 3: Halloween night 7:30 p.m.
J: "Okay I don't think any more trick or treaters are coming. Let's turn off the porch light."
Candy wrappers rustling and evil cackling are heard as the poor little trick or treaters press their noses up against the window longingly.

Chapter 4: Five weeks after Halloween
Sarah: "Okay, we must get out of the habit of snacking on candy every night. Bloody Halloween! Oh well, I am pregnant. What the hell, pass me another."

Chapter 5: February
Sarah: "This is out of control! We have to stop. Right this minute!!" Nibbling the edge of a Toblerone. "I'm not buying any more chocolate from now on. The only way to kick the habit is to go cold turkey."
J: "Uh, can you just buy a few bars for me?"
Sarah: "Nope. Because I'll eat them before you even set eyes on them."
J: "Well what if I buy some and hide them?"
Sarah: "No, because I will find them."
J: "Oh, I don't think so. I have an excellent hiding place that you don't know about."
Sarah: "Have you met me before? If there is even a teeny weeny piece of chocolate in the house I will hunt it down. Believe me. It doesn't matter whether you've taped it to the inside of the roof or stuffed it into the plumbing. I will get it."

Chapter 6: Easter
Bugger. That floppy eared, chocolate maniac the Easter Bunny has arrived.

Chapter 7: May
An intensive exercise regime ensues along with full withdrawal from chocolate eating.

Chapter 8: Two nights ago
Accustomed to their exemplary new eating habits, Sarah decides to buy a few bars of chocolate to keep in the fridge for occasional indulging.
That evening.
J: "Wasn't there three Aeros in here earlier?"
Sarah: "Mmm.. You know what? I think a bird flew in a swiped one."
Goes for an extra long run.

This is why there simply can never be chocolate in my house. Ever.

*Warning: chocolate may not be good for you, help you loose weight, fight criminals or any of the other statements made here.
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57 comments:

Loukia said...

Oh.... that picture of that Cadbury milk chocolate bar... is my heaven! OMG, Cadbury is most favourite chocolate, ever. Oh, man... this was a hard post to read as I am back on my stupid diet again today... I'm craving chocolate like you would not believe right now! Sigh. I love chocolate, too. And it is good for you! So there you go.
Great and funny post! :)

Mwa said...

You know, I really don't have that problem with chocolate. However, I can't have crisps in the house, or those ice creams with praline and nuts, or Pimm's biscuits, or...

Yeah, I get what you mean.

ModernMom said...

Great. Now I have to go buy some chocolate.

(I too have the same problem at halloween..maybe we could start a support group lol)

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Stupid delicious holidays.

K said...

I too am a chocolate lover. At least it's healthier than some other addictions.

Welcome to SITS!

James (SeattleDad) said...

You know, for a guy I am a big chocolate lover too. I have it in my coffee a couple of times a day.

I'm weak, I understand.

Crystall said...

Isn't it horrible that the foos that are the most scrumptious are also the worst for us. ~sigh~ I never craved chocolate until my first pregnancy. Now, three children later, I can't shake the chocolate fanatic in me. OOh, my favorite is Chocolate Molten Lava cake. (that is, a warm, individual-sized, round chocolate cake, with warm chocolate fudge inside, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. Then, another helping of hot fudge covers the ice cream.) Yum! Whom ever created that was NOT on a diet.

Liliana said...

You are so funny! I have tears running down my cheeks from laughing!
I too am a chocolaholic. I buy chocolate before events like Easter, Christmas, Halloween but I can't miss out on the sale of chocolate after as well. :| Alvin is not much of a chocolate eater so I end up eating most of it...sometimes all of it.

Schmoochiepoo said...

Ooooh chocolate. My favorite word.

I read somewhere once that dark chocolate has health benefits. Well if that is the case then milk chocolate is even better for you because it has milk in it. Right!?!?

Thanks for stopping by my Blog. :)

LZ @ My Messy Paradise said...

mmm...mentioning choco and Easter reminds me of Cadbury Mini Eggs...
Must. find. some.

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I'll join a support group with you!

Melissa Papaj Photography said...

My biggest problem with Chocolate is that it all goes straight to my butt :)

Gamma Sharon said...

The older I get, the more I crave it. It really just hits the spot!
Again, congrats on being the FB!

Mary said...

Haha, at least your addiction is spread over many holidays. I on the other hand am still working on a 6 pound tin of Harry London chocolates gifted to me and my husband this past Christmas by my sister! I am afraid that I have been working on them much more than my husband has been though.

Mary said...

Oh, forgot... HAPPY SITS DAY!

When did I become my Mom said...

Hmmm then these goodies are probably meant for you! http://photos.momlogic.com/galleries/crazy_chocolate_creations_valentines_day

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

I love chocolate too but just eat it in moderation.

Congrats on your SITS day!

Queenie Jeannie said...

LOL! Laughing with you, not at you...

Cyndi @ 6 Ring Circus said...

LOL my husband is the WORST when it comes to chocolate. He's an absolute fiend. At Halloween I have to buy everything BUT chocolate (AKA what he calls "all that plastic crap") to keep him out of the stash. :o)

cat said...

Oh I love this post! Me, I can have in the house and eat occasionally - the Hubster, not so! He will hunt down every bit.

Sandy said...

I am reading this as I am indulging in some chocolate for breakfast! LOL!

Michelle @ In Sew Motion said...

Chocolate is what's good for you-always. No contest. I can sniff out every hiding place as well. You can't hide chocolate from a mom! Or a woman who is PMSing. Happy SITS day.

Kim said...

I'm with you - no chocolate is safe in this house - EVER!

Melissa @ Cellulite Investigation said...

I have a family member who cares nothing of nutritional content and will not touch a vegetable of any sort, but he is religious about eating his 2 pieces of dark chocolate every day because he heard it's healthy. What really makes me chuckle is the fact that he's a doctor.

Marie said...

I come from a long line of chocolate fanatics in my family but it definitely skipped me. My Mom who LOVES chocolate gets us some for all the holidays and the other day I just told her I finished the Lindor chocolate balls she got us for Christmas...She was shocked! :)

Randa @ The Bewitchin' Kitchen said...

I was never a chocolate eater - before I was pregnant and now...it's gone before I set the grocery bags down!

It's so hard to do when trying to lose weight :(

But I am expecting a weight gain this Easter...and I am going to love every minute of it.

LisaDay said...

I once said I would only eat good-quality chocolate. Then I realized I was lying to myself.

British chocolate rules.

Happy SITS day.

LisaDay

One Cluttered Brain said...

Mmm. Chocolate.
Love it.
Dan's chocolate is THE BEST chocolate you can buy online.
Delicious!
Happy SITS DAY!

Jenn said...

Hahahahaha!!! that's a great post! I can def. relate, and know a few others as well.

Happy SITS Day!!!

Mammatalk said...

Can ya pass a bar over here?

www.thehusaileybunch.com said...

You are so funny! Hope you have a happy SITS day! congrats..

gringationcancun said...

GAAAH why did the first poster have to say "cadbury"?

Oh, Easter.

Scraps said...

Yup, that sounds about right. Except for the pregnancy part and the exercise, lol.

Aleta said...

*stands up and waves* "Hello, my name is Aleta, and I'm a chocoholic too." Yep, I love chocolate and certain times of the month, don't even THINK about taking it away from me. Lol. Loved your Halloween and Easter stories :)

Zeemaid said...

sighs... I hear you. Chocolate is my one true weakness. If you eat dark chocolate supposedly it is good for you. only who likes dark chocolate? not me... gotta give me that whole milky sweet flavour every time.

sigh. ;)

Tonya said...

Chocolate is my favorite!! Especially chocolate cake with chocolate icing on top and in the layers. :)

Molly Burke, Queen of Confidence said...

Dark Chocolate is GOD.

Happy SITS Day!

Molly Burke CPCC MSU
Queen of Confidence
www.lifepurposeworks.com
"Everyone can use an extra boost of confidence every now and again."


It's "Ask the Oracle" Tuesday on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Molly-Burke-Queen-of-Confidence/343969645120

Sarah Ruth said...

This is not good. I have a bar of chocolate sitting next to me. That I have purposefully been ignoring for a while. Now that may end. LOL!

Dark chocolate is good for your heart!!!! Milk chocolate is not good for you because of all the sugar. I only eat dark chocolate.

Serendipity said...

That tale sounds all too familiar...

Shana said...

Same story at my house. My J doesn't seem to get it either and will buy chocolate and sneak it in. He gets bad when it disappears, but I've decided I can't be held accountable.

CoconutPalmDesigns said...

If there were no chocolate in my house I'd probably starve to death!

Happy SITS Day!

Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns

Judy said...

From Halloween to Easter, it's nonstop, isn't it? Now I eat dark chocolate daily for medicinal purposes, of course.

Joann Mannix said...

I was in my pantry yesterday and couldn't take my eyes off the tub of peanut butter and the bag of mini-dark chocolates. Together, that scrumptious combination made up my dinner.

gamommy2two said...

I absolutely laughed out loud at the thought of a bird flying into your home, opening your refrigerator and swiping a piece of chocolate. This is like me and Pepsi. I went cold turkey...Until I really had a bad headache one day and needed the caffeine lol

Linda said...

Yes I ahve blogged about my chocolate addiction. It is a sad, true, yummy happiness.

Mrsbear said...

I can safely say I have a chocolate monkey on my back. I'm admitting I have a problem, I just don't want to do anything about it. Ever. Chocolate loves me, dammit!

Stereos and Souffles said...

I made some chocolate, peanut butter and marshmallow brownies over the weekend. Yup, me and chocolate are very close friends. Happy SITS day!

Kris said...

I ate a whole box of girl scout cookies on Friday...

It's sad

simplysandi said...

Stopping by from SITS. I love chocolate. It whispers to me while it's in the house until it's all gone.

Anna M Blanch said...

This is why i eat 70 or 80% dark chocolate! Seriously, i don't eat as much and i get smug satisfaction from thinking it is good for me...
it may not be true but it works for me....there is a river in egypt after all!

__Happy SITS Day__

Life with Kaishon said...

Chocolate is a problem for me for sure. As well as any other sugar. And any pasta. And really anything fattening and unhealthy at all!

Bekah said...

Happy SITS day, you chocoholic! There must be small amounts of crack in it, because so many of us are addicted! I'm the same as you, once it's in the house, I will eat it non-stop. Sigh.

Sabreena said...

This post totally made me crave chocolate. My weakness is any creamy chocolate cake or See's candy. Yum.

Miz Dinah said...

Ohhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhh....mmmm-mmmm!

Nutritional fact: Dark chocolate contains antioxidants.

Happy SITS day! Have some chocolate!

scrappysue said...

you forgot - if no-one sees you eat it, there's no calories!!!

Joy said...

LOL - Halloween's over at 7:30 - LOL

Belated congrats on your SITS day!

Rachel said...

Mmmm....chocolate!

I have a weakness for chocolate. I have no chocolate threshhold.