Saturday, July 18, 2009

Parents just wanna have fun

I sat, the other day, cup of coffee in hand, looking through old photos: Me with friends, rosy cheeked, striking silly poses; Random moments captured by J in our early dating days; Laughing and dancing at weddings and parties; On holiday, tanned and happy.

It was all over my young, fresh-faced skin: FUN. Reckless, uninhibited, plentiful fun.

Lately I've wondered about this thing called fun. It's not that I don't have fun with the boys. Countless times I've caught myself grinning from ear to ear at the sight of Oliver and Matthew playing together, or laughing out loud at something Matthew has said. Sometimes we dance with him around the living room. But this kind of fun is always accompanied by the fact that I'm still in charge. The fun has limitations because I'm responsible.

The fun I'm talking about is the thing that occurs when everything else slips away and all that's left is the moment you're in.

Like sitting on a veranda with the sun setting and a glass of wine and the sound of music floating around you. Or throwing your head back in laughter over an old story with friends. Or lying in the sand with only sound of the ocean to fill your head and nothing to stir you but the warmth of the sun.

I thought for a while, that kind of FUN was on hold.

But then last week we went out. Twice in one week - just the two of us. Once on a date, and once to a friend's 40th party. It was like a ray of light had broken through the clouds and scattered sparkly little drops of hope on me. And as I laughed and chatted and felt the buzz of the atmosphere I realized, I can still have this.

Yes, FUN still lives here people. It's official.

I'm still a mum while the fun is being had - always aware that somewhere the boys are sleeping or stirring. But the fun can still be had. And in a way the fun feels better than ever. Because this time I feel it with a new appreciation. And because I know that later I'll return home and place a kiss on their sleepy cheeks.
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James (SeattleDad) said...

Fun lives there? If you are going on vacation anytime soon, I'd be happy to babysit.

Fun, that is. I'll babysit fun.

Glad to hear you've found it again. It can be tough with little ones around.

Midwest Mommy said...

I like this post. It is so true. One of the toughest things about becoming a parent when all your friends are them continue the "daily fun" although I wouldn't change a thing.

Shannon said...

So true, as a parent you always feel "on duty." Thanks for reminding me to appreciate those moments of FUN. Found you via SITS.

Loukia said...

I'm so glad you went out and had a good time - that is so very important! And, like you said, you're still a mom while the fun is being had, so it's a different kind of fun, because no matter what, you have to be more responsible even when the children aren't with you, you know? It's still fun, though! Yay for you!

The Redhead Riter said...

:o) Hope you had a Happy Monday!

Joy said...

Well done and well said!

p.s. Welcome to the SITS community!

Lil said...

You just wrote out many of my thoughts.

Schmoochiepoo said...


Maria @BOREDmommy said...

Its nice to get those reminders that even though we're moms, we still have the right to our own time. Its just a necessity if you want to maintain any level of sanity. Everyone needs some adult conversation and interaction. I'm glad you had a great time. Very rejuvinating isn't it?

Anonymous said...

SeattleDad - cool! When can I book my flight? Fun, aka Matthew and Oliver should be no problem while I'm away ;)

Midwest Mommy - yes it's tough to see you're non-parent friends still enjoying their freedom but like you I would trade either.

Shannon - Hi, nice to meet you. :)

Loukia - yes it is so important, and finally I'm figuring out how to achieve it.

Maria - great points, we absolutely have the right to our own time. And time off is vital to sanity keeping.