Sunday, July 26, 2009

To pause time for a while

"How old is he now?" Somebody asked me.

"Six months. Almost seven"

"Six months! Already! It goes by so fast."

In the early days I'd rest my head on my hands on Oliver's cradle as I rocked him, overcome with the exhaustion of two young children and the loneliness of motherhood. And it felt almost as if time was moving against me, slowly, deliberately.

But then. Six months has gone by? Almost seven?

But we were only just bringing Oliver home from the hospital. Just re-learning all the things needed to care for a newborn. Just dressing him in those tiny sleepers that only really get worn once or twice and for that reason are so very precious.

And now, all of a sudden, he's looking less like a baby and more like a boy. And new things are happening.

His first two teeth have appeared.
He's eating real food.
He can roll from one end of the room to the other.
And is trying to crawl (not yet, please!).
He can almost sit up on his own.

I long for it to last: the sweetness of a baby is something that can never be replaced. And I long for it to not last too long. I look forward to seeing him grow up, become a man (gulp).

And then last week I said the unthinkable to J. After inhaling deeply, "Now don't freak out but..." He knew right away. "Part of me, a small part, a very small part, thinks maybe, possibly, I might, not definitely but maybe, one day, I'm not talking now, of course not. Like in three or four years..."
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..... Carmen said...

All I can do is smile - and if you could see it in person you'd know exactly what that smile would convey ;)

By the way - love your new header :)

Loukia said...

He is absolutely beautiful!!!!! And I am like you... I'm thinking about a 3rd, but hubby is pretty much a big 'NO' about that! We'll see though, I still have time! Every night, I stare and stare at my baby boy, and big boy, and wonder how they grew so fast, but still, my baby is still young and in a crib and I want to hold onto it forever.. it's the most beautiful thing in the whole world!

Crystall said...

Well, I can say this, having been in your position: my third child Lyla has brought a wonderful amount of joy into our lives. She is our only girl and balances out the testosterone and brings a soft side to my husband that used to rarely come out. My children make my heart just burst, but they can also be exhausting, unnerving and little pains in my behind. :)
Lyla was not planned, but really has been a true gift from God. Three is tough, but also such a blessing. The amount of love that now floods my life on an every day basis is absolutely worth all of the work.

Crystall said...

Oh, I forgot to say....I love your new header and your son is so adorable. He and my daughter would be a great couple.

Brian Miller said...

nice header. they grow up way too quick...cute pics too...

Lil said...

I love the pic! They do grow up so fast!
As for your last note.. :)


James (SeattleDad) said...

Ditto on the Header. It's great.

And yes, they do grow up way to fast. Here's to enjoying every moment of it.

JennyMac said...

What a face!!! and I love his name too. Our is two..and it does go quick. Everyone says it gets better and better as they grow older...I know what I was like as a teen. How can that be better? LOL.

Canadian Bald Guy said...

This part of the growing process is an amazing time to take in.

To watch a baby turn into a watch the MANY see the mind see see thought and's truly amazing.

Soak it in!

Kelly said...

He's adorable! And he kinda does look like a little man :)

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I say go for three! I still only just have the one (Reagan) but I know that I want two more!

I love your new look... I'm addicted to Starbucks, so I'm really loving the header!

And yes, they grow up way way way too fast. Seeing Reagan starting to look like a little lady means that I too am starting to get the "itch" for another, so number two may not be too far away! If I can convince he hubs of course!

Sara said...

Okay I've been lurking, I love reading your posts. Your sense of humour and ability to articulate it is admirable. That and you always know how to say just what's wonderful and challenging being a mom.
As for #3... I knew youd get back there. ha I remember before Oli you spoke of being open to 3 and that getting past that first 4-6mo would get you back to that place. Fun!!!