I was thinking. What if, for just one day, I could swap places with my toddler and I could be the one to throw a tantrum?
I'd throw myself on the floor, wailing I'm done changing diapers! I'm done holding people down to prevent poo from being smeared all over the floor while they wriggle and whine and act as though I'm torturing them!
I'd stand outside the laundry room slapping the door and wailing no no no I won't do the laundry! I won't do it! You'll all have to wear smelly clothes for eternity! Waaah!
I'd stop in the middle of the road, with cars piling up around me, sobbing uncontrollably but I don't wanna go home yet! You can't make me! I wanna go to out to dinner and the movies and come back at 1 a.m. slightly drunk!
I'd stand in the middle of the store stomping my feet and bellowing this store blows! There's something wrong with their clothes - they used to fit me! They did they did! Someone make them fit me again! And I'm not leaving until someone gives me a pair of Pradas and a Chanel 2.55 bag!
I'd throw the remote control at the telly and yell dammit if I ever hear that frigging song "backpack, backpack", again, I will grab Dora by the scruff of her neck and strangle her and her backpack.
I'd refuse to eat my food and with a scowly face inform everyone at the table I want pizza and salad, cooked by someone else and delivered to me. And with no calories. Now!
I'd pull the covers over my head and refuse to get out of bed in the morning, droning from beneath the sheets there's no way in hell I'm going through another day like yesterday! I wanna sleep til noon dammit. Get someone else stand in for me.
What would your tantrum be over?