Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Fear of a third

On the journey back from my weekend away (which was bloody marvelous, by the way), I began to feel sick - a heavy nausea that lay on my stomach and made me clench my hands with the desire to not throw up.

Hmm. Weird.

I racked my brain for possible causes of the sickness: I had consumed very large quantities of food and drink the night before - well who doesn't do that on a mini-break? And, I had over-indulged in the pancakes and syrup earlier that morning. But then gluttony normally has no more effect on me than a very small amount of guilt.

And then, usually, I get over it and go for a run.

As the day went on, the nausea faded. But of course, I couldn't help wondering: what if. What if, by some strange fluke, I was pregnant again. For the third time in three years. If you'd taken a microscope to my skin you might have seen small prickles of sweat emerging as the image of another nine months, another labour, another new born, another child dizzied my head.

Oh. Um. Flip.

We're still reasonably young so there is a chance, albeit a small one, that in three, four or five years we may decide to try for a third. Or, we may be so content with our lifestyle - two boys no longer in diapers, able to get in and out of the car and eat dinner unassisted, sleeping through the night, able to travel abroad - that we can't fathom the idea of going back to the beginning and doing it all over again.

Oh oh but then I could be like Angie, all glamorous with her armfuls of kids!

Oh but wait I don't have her money or resources. Scrap that.
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15 comments:

Mwa said...

Yeah, yeah, it was the alcohol.

wherewiller said...

I too know this thought process :-)

Loukia said...

I don't think I am ever going to be sure about having a third or not! I feel like I don't have too much time to really think about, seeing that I'm already (just turned!) 33 years old... I give myself 2 years, max and then I'll know for sure either way... I want another baby because there is nothing as sweet as a little newborn, but then... I think about how tired I'll be all over again and the fact that I have 2 little boys to take care of - they take up ALL my time, as they are so active! I have no idea how I'd be able to handle another baby...

Mammatalk said...

Much luck! I nervously await the news!

..... Carmen said...

Um yes. I believe she also has a full time nanny (or two!), a house keeper, an exercise coach, and her own personal bartender (perhaps). That's a whole different type of reality me thinks. In my reality, I agree, a third would make me sweat too.

Sparkless said...

Just don't get rid of any baby stuff or you'll get pregnant for sure!

roadrunner201 said...

Hahaha. I understand this panic. We had this panic last month and it would only be our second;-) I just really want them more spaced out. The hazards of refusing to use hormonal birth control.

Perfectly Happy Mum said...

Just found your blog via the BMB group and as I read your post I read the things going through my head EXACTLY as I took that pregnancy test at the weekend :)
We too have 2 boys (17 months apart) and the youngest one is just 14 months old. We too think that maybe, there is a possibility that in a couple of years we decide to have a third, but now... I was relieved and at the same time disappointed not to see the second line... What is wrong with ME?! Love your blog :)

Theta Mom said...

Ehem...I would be thinking, Holy. Crap. For me, I have my hands full with two, so that whole nausea thing would have given me heart palpitations! LOL

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I only have three by accident. The twins were unplanned and I never thought I'd have multiples (doesn't run in my family or anything). But I KNOW I don't want four!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Wow, that could be very exciting news. I will be following for updates.

Chandra said...

Oh my goooooodness! Keep us updated!

Lady Mama said...

Mwa - haha - yeah it was ;)

Loukia - I think 35 will be my cut off two. And I understand already feeling exhausted with 2, that's what scares the hell out of me.

Carmen - if I had all those things I'd have like four or ten kids.

roadrunner201 - yes good timing is important.

Perfectly Happy Mum - Hi :) Glad to know I'm not the only one that's been in this situation! Argh.

Theta Mum - yeah, that's pretty much what I'm thinking.

LZ @ My Messy Paradise said...

I go back and forth. 98% of me is done. Finished. Over with having kids. But every so often, I get that pang. I know that if there was a little surprise, we'd be thrilled, and we'd manage, but I think I would have to check into the looney bin a bit sooner if I were home with 3 little ones...

Chic Mama said...

I had first three fairly close and then over four years between the next two....loved that gap as it prolonged babyhood which I love!! So thirteen years between the eldest and youngest, it's lovely. Keep us posted. ;0)