Monday, September 21, 2009

The old jeans you really wish fit again but really truly don't.

At the back of my closet on the top shelf sits a pile of old beloved jeans that last fit me properly around three years ago. Occasionally I catch sight of them as I'm pulling something out and wonder if I'll be able to get them on again yet.

Last Friday, still unsure of my pregnancy status, I decided to try on a pair. I do strange things like that when I'm in a flap: Jeans to small? Possibly pregnant? What the hell, let's get them on!

To my disbelief, they fit.

Well, okay that's a lie. What actually happened was this: with some fierce effort and gymnastic maneuverings I was able to squeeze myself into the jeans, sucking in so hard I may have swallowed a nearby sizable object, and fasten the button.

I jumped - as much of a jump as I could manage in the too-tight jeans - for joy.

I remember buying these jeans on my lunch break in Covent Garden five or maybe six years ago thinking, at the time, what the ... I'm a size 12 (UK) now? What the happened to size 10? Of course now I'm hopping up and down alone in my bedroom like a manic rabbit at the idea of cheating my way into a size 12.

Although the jeans didn't really truly fit comfortably, I could visualize hints of my old body re-emerging. That deserves a whooooooot, I think.

There was just one tiny problem with the jeans: a dollar-sized rip located at the top of the trouser leg - in between the thigh and bum, so not really noticeable unless someone had been actively looking, which hahahaha. But, in all the excitement I ignored the rip and proceeded to wear the jeans, quite proudly, for the rest of the day.

As the day went on I noticed the rip had expanded. All that bending down to retrieve people and things from the floor had taken its toll on the rip. That, plus the fact the jeans didn't really fit that well and were having the life stretched out of them thread by thread.

Still, I did nothing. No way was I about to remove the only evidence that my old figure was making a comeback.

By the evening, the dollar-sized rip had grown and was roughly the size of a five dollar note. Not a good look for a mum running around town with two kids in tow. Unless you're Pam Anderson. And even then...

But I was lucky that day - I got away with no one witnessing the rip in my jeans. At least.. no one said anything..hem.. But now of course, the jeans are buggered. And no I will not sew them up because the last time I sewed something it ended up looking like the scary doll from Coraline.

I'm not sorry though. It was worth the rip, to have one final satisfying day with my old tight-fitting, tummy-trimming, thigh-slenderizing, butt-firming, hip-shrinking, waist-defying jeans.

RIP nice old jeans.
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9 comments:

Loukia said...

Oh sweetie! First of all YAY for getting those jeans on! I know how great it feels to 'fit' into an old pair of jeans you used to love.. even if you're uncomfortable in them and can't properly breathe all day long! As for the rip... I'm sorry! But like you said, you had a fun day with them on! Now this means you'll have to buy more jeans in that size, because you can fit into them now! ;)

Midwest Mommy said...

I have done this with jeans and shirts. Just because the shirt covers my rolls doesn't mean it hides them.

..... Carmen said...

Where's the rip? I'd sew them up for you :)

Sparkless said...

Good for you to get those jeans on again! I'd like to know how one goes about getting your old shoe size back. Before kids I had a size 6.5 and now I'm an 8!! All those pretty shoes and boots I own will never fit again and no amount of squeezing or dieting is gonna make them fit. sigh

Mwa said...

At least yours fit at some point. I bought a pair of jeans last year for the size I was sure I was about to become. Ha! Still waiting...

whistlejacket said...

Sounds like you had a good day in your jeans! Shame they're no more. I have a pile of about 12 pairs and I can only fit into two or three at any given time. This is due to three pregnancies in four years, I don't know what size I'll eventually end up at after all this! The plan is to be back in my skinny jeans post-baby in the New Year (yeah right!).

Ladybird World Mother said...

Rip? I have a foot long slash in mine. Still wear the buggers. But only In the House. Never Out. Could be classified as rather pervy. And am decidedly Not That.

Metropolitan Mum said...

Hehe. I am reading this whilst munching happily on a huge piece of shortbread. Bought two pairs of jeans yesterday at GAP. Size 28. Now let me tell you that the last time I bought a size 28, I was ten years younger and about 15 pounds lighter than today. They must have changed their sizing in order to please the poor customers into buying. In my case, it worked! :-)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I think it's worth it - and hey, the jeans were five years old anyway. Time for a new pair.

I find it hilarious when you pull out an old favorite and get all excited about it finally fitting again, only to realize that it's been 10 years, and those beloved cuffed, pleated front trousers with the suspenders were last worn by Courteny Cox in the first Season of Friends. I think that even Good Will would laugh.