First there was the vibrating sex-toy-in-disguise mascara.
And when I laid my (plain old mascara stick painted) eyes on the vibrating wand I was delighted by its silliness. And then, to take the silliness to new heights I created my own vibrating mascara wand with added features. Which was definitely way more cool than the plain vibrating one. Mine had Twitter and a Starbucks card so, no competition really.
But now there's a new one.
Lash stiletto mascara.
Hurray for new silliness to make fun of!
So - lash stilettos.
As in... Your lashes will look like stilettos.
As in... You will look as though you faceplanted a stiletto and couldn't remove it.
As in... Your lashes will be so thick you won't be able to see through them.
As in... People will begin to call you shoe face.
Because clearly, plain old lashes with mascara are no longer good enough. Even falsies loaded up with black goo don't cut it any more. You see, these days, unless there's a chance your lashes could be mistaken for stilettos? Forget it. You're so yesterday.
What do you think the mascara people will come up with next? I'm thinking multi-coloured glow sticks for lashes. Or, eyelashes that double as chop sticks. Or, hedgehogs.