Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Is that a stiletto or are you just happy to see me?

First there was the vibrating sex-toy-in-disguise mascara.

And when I laid my (plain old mascara stick painted) eyes on the vibrating wand I was delighted by its silliness. And then, to take the silliness to new heights I created my own vibrating mascara wand with added features. Which was definitely way more cool than the plain vibrating one. Mine had Twitter and a Starbucks card so, no competition really.

But now there's a new one.

Lash stiletto mascara.

Hurray for new silliness to make fun of!

So - lash stilettos.

As in... Your lashes will look like stilettos.

As in... You will look as though you faceplanted a stiletto and couldn't remove it.

As in... Your lashes will be so thick you won't be able to see through them.

As in... People will begin to call you shoe face.

Because clearly, plain old lashes with mascara are no longer good enough. Even falsies loaded up with black goo don't cut it any more. You see, these days, unless there's a chance your lashes could be mistaken for stilettos? Forget it. You're so yesterday.

What do you think the mascara people will come up with next? I'm thinking multi-coloured glow sticks for lashes. Or, eyelashes that double as chop sticks. Or, hedgehogs.
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Elaine A. said...

I guess I wouldn't mind if they were Jimmy Choo's.... hee hee.

That Girl39 said...

Hee Hee... this made me chortle! I agree with Elaine... Manolo Mascara could catch on! As for cosmetic stuff that vibrates... have you seen that face thing.. think its Neutrogena. I mean c'mon... a step too far?!

Maternal Tales said...

Bloody hell - what's happened to plain old black mascara?? Will be stickign with that for a while yet I think. Btw, there's an award for you at mine x

Anonymous said...

faceplanting into a stiletto might have some promise...a promise with major facial reconstructive surgery, but still a promise.

new follower!

Nap Warden said...

My husband once told me "honey, men don't care about your lashes..." and yet I still mess with mascara:(

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Well - first there is that Latisse stuff that Brooke Shields is endorsing. But think the next big thing for eyelashes will be full on transplants with falsies. Why not. Have your false eyelashes surgically attached and you never have to apply mascara again. I wonder if someone has patented that...

Metropolitan Mum said...

Haha. This made my day.

PS: LOVE your illustrations.

Karen @ If I Could Escape . . . said...

That is too funny! Wonder what they were smoking when they came up with that name! LOL

Anonymous said...


Lady Mama said...

Elaine - I'd do pretty much anything for Jimmy Choos <3

That Girl30 - Yes I have seen that face thing. Hilarious.

Maternal Tales - Me too. Plain old black mascara wand forever.

Tiffany - Hi :)

Nap Warden - yes but I care! Ha.

Kate - Falsie transplants? I'm so getting that!

Mertro Mum - good :) and thanks

Yaya - :)

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

What will they think of next? :)

Ann said...

This is terrific. You are so funny!

I just might go for Cup Holder Mascara. It would be so-o-o convenient to have my lashes hold my wine glass ;->