Thursday, October 8, 2009

The unDiet

The problem with the all-or-nothing personality type - i.e. ME - is that, while it can yield great bursts of energy and enthusiasm (think excited puppy on a pogo stick), it can also mean getting bored quickly and ditching the previously-good idea in a minute and moving onto the next amazingly terrific thing.

Take running, for instance. I go through spurts of running three or four (or if I'm particularly manic) five times a week for a few months. Then I get bored and find whiny excuses like oh I don't think I'll go for a run tonight, it's too cold and dark or ohhh I've had a reeeeally long day with the kids and I'm just soooo tired I can't possibly even lift my little toe off the sofa... Etc. You know the drill.

And when it comes to diet, the all-or-nothing personality can be down right troublesome. For instance, I like to be slim, but I like food. No, that's wrong, like is too flimsy. I would write a song about food. There.

Spaghetti Carbonara, you are my Scarlett O'Hara...

Coq au Vin, of yours I'm such a fan...
Spotted dick and custard, you don't go well with mustard...

Okay that's enough of that.

Back to what I was saying.

I'm not the kind of person that can open a bag of chips and just take just a few. If it's open, it's eaten. For me there's no such thing as just taking one or two cookies from a packet of cookies (who the hell does that anyway?). One square of chocolate? Hahahaha. Gone. Inhaled like sugary air.

This is why chocolate, candies, chips and sweets are rarely purchased and kept in our house. I mentioned the Halloween candy problem. This, friends, is why. My husband asks for chocolate - I say no. I'm mean like that. It's all for the sake of my thighs, I remind him.

So, in light of this, I have concocted a new unDiet that fits my personality perfectly. It goes like this.

During the week:
I eat sensibly (except when at playdates, malls or restaurants).
I steer clear of chocolate (oh, except last night, and the night before that, but we won't count them).
I eat in moderation (except when I urgently need a snack at 4 p.m.).
I cut down on carbs (ahem).
I cut out fat (what butter on those pancakes this morning?).

At the weekend:
I basically eat whatever I want. I indulge. I eat. I enjoy. I drink wine.

That's it. Simple. And you know why the unDiet works for me? Because I don't want to be thin. Yes that's right. Not thin. Just slim. I like my curves and they're staying put.

Therefore, if you do the math:

Pretending to eat sensibly some of the time + working out like a maniac = nice curves.

See?
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12 comments:

Chandra said...

Now that's an "unDIET" I could stick to!

Mwa said...

I have roughly the same unDiet. And then my mother gave us lots of chocolate biscuits. D'oh!

LZ @ My Messy Paradise said...

Sounds like a plan, but it was very difficult to keep reading after 'Spotted Dick.' I'll be googling that one...
You're better off than most if you're sticking to running for a few months! I stop after a few days.

CaraBee said...

My diet is pretty much the same. Except add: at the dinner table to my list of exceptions.

Elaine A. said...

Sounds perfectly logical to me. : )

Kate Coveny Hood said...

If there is a dessert in the house, I'll eat it until it's gone. I have problems with portion control.

Sparkless said...

I think your undiet pounds are somehow attaching themselves to me cause I do the same undiet but just keep getting fatter every year!

Elisa, The Unlikely Housewife said...

I follow the unDiet too. Sort of. Except with my thyroid problem it's not enough to keep me slim, and there are more curves than I bargained for. ooops

James (SeattleDad) said...

I do a modified version, skipping the part where you eat sensibly during the week.

Chic Mama said...

I too am an all or nothing person....if I'm on a diet I cannot allow my self one morsel of anything bad....if a box of chocolates are open, I can't rest until they're all gone. I think what you are doing is great, if we deny ourselves all the time we just go on a full blown binge at some point. A sensible approach. :0)

Mammatalk said...

An undiet? Sounds like you've got an idea there!

Metropolitan Mum said...

Your song is divine. You made me hungry!
Good to read that someone wants to keep their curves for a change. I think most women have a more or less developed form of body dysmorphic disorder. It's sad, really. And not the kind of role model we want to be for our children. Raising my glass (wine) to you!