And though I didn't ever pull anything quite so
I asked the milkman to grant my wishes.
When I learned about the tooth fairy, I began leaving little notes under my pillow for her, asking for all kinds of things - barbies, ponies, care bears, sherbet fountains... I figured, if she could grant me a wish each time I lost a tooth, she was probably fluttering around somewhere close by and therefore wouldn't mind granting me a few wishes in between teeth losses. So, each night, I left little notes asking her politely for all manner of random toys, and I always included the most important one - a set of free wishes.
And then, I figured that if the tooth fairy could grant wishes, then hey - the milkman probably could too. Right? (Those were t'days of milk being delivered).
So one day, I stuffed a rolled-up scrap of paper into an empty milk bottle on the doorstep, onto which was scribbled a LONG list of things that I wanted. And then I waited excitedly for the milkman to grant ALL my wishes.
And can you believe it? That miserable bastard... not only did he NOT grant my wishes, but he didn't even write back to me. I never trusted milkmen again after that.
I charged people entry to my "museum".
Maybe I was an eager little capitalist, or maybe I wanted to be a curator - I don't know, but one day I decided to start a museum in my bedroom and charge my family an entry fee. I took random objects from my room and lined them up on makeshift tables. Then I stood at one end, a purse strapped to my hip, with a very curator-ish look on my face and welcomed my visitors.
I convinced my friends to perform my "art".
When I was about seven, I invited a few friends over to my house. The little friends had no idea they were about to be initiated into a singing, dancing, performing group. We huddled around the piano as I prodded the notes and we screeched out songs like "Don't Cry For Me Argentina." Like Glee but, um, not.
Then, when I was ten, I wrote a short play and persuaded my classmates perform it in front of the entire school. Being the bossy little lady that I was, I handed out scripts and had my friends meet up almost every day to rehearse the play. Somewhere there are pictures of kids dressed as ghosts, dancing to Thriller, and also a copy of the program.
...Yes, I was a bit of an odd child. But, you'll be pleased to know I turned out to be perfectly normal in the end.