Friday, October 9, 2009

You want an accent with those fries?

Every so often I forget I have an accent. A couple of days will go by, I'll be feeling like a genuine Canadian, and then I'll be in the grocery store and the cashier will ask me "Your Co-op number?" And I'll say "###*-008". You know - but like "double oh eight". And then most times the cashier, being friendly, will ask me "Which part of Australia are you from?" And I look at her like she's completely insane, which I suspect she may in fact be.

And I'm once again reminded that I'm an outsider. A foreigner. An alien.

The worst is drive-through. And even without the accent thing, I'm bad at drive-through, apparently. J has noted that I become really loud and pissy at the voice in the box if they don't get my order right first time. Which isn't true at all: I only speak loudly and slowly so they'll understand me. And normally I'm very patient. Normally. Except when the person taking the order ALSO has an accent. And then I might as well be explaining the Russian revolution, in Russian, to someone that doesn't speak Russian.

Me: "I'd like one teen meal.."
Voice: "One kids meal?"
Me: "A teen meal."
Voice: "Kid meal?"
Me: "No. (leaning out the car towards the box) A TEEN meal."
Voice: "Teen burger?"
Voice: "Okay one teen meal. Anything else?"
Me: "One mozza burger."
Voice: "One Mama burger?"
Me: "No. A MOZZA burger."
Voice: "Papa burger?"
Me: "MOH-TZA burger."
Voice: "Oh! Mozza burger?"
Me: "Yes."
Voice: "You wanna drink with that?"
Me: "A root beer?"
Voice: "Root beer. Anything else?"
Me: "That's all."
Voice: "A what?"
Me: "No I said that's all."
Voice: "Onion rings?"
Me: "THAT. IS. ALL."
Voice: "Okay. Thank you. Please pick up your meal at the first window."

All that kurfuffling for a lousy burger.

*First digits emitted in case someone tries to highjack my membership number. What? That totally could happen!
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mitch1066 said...

LOL as another brit living in canada i had to my mum i now sound american and to canadians i sound australian so basicly i dont fit anywhere anymore.I also cant get away with anything especially by phone,all i need to say is "hi"and they know its me haha.

Sparkless said...

LOL!! My Sister-in-law is Australian and she used to get so mad if anyone thought she was from New Zealand. Sheesh not everyone can place every accent.
I've been asked my Americans where my accent was. They figured all Canadians have a French accent. LOL!
Personally I love a good accent and it's part of the fun trying to figure out what kind it is.

OHmommy said...

Hahahaha... that's funny. I love accents. Isn't Canada full of foreigners though?

Juli Ryan said...

People in NZ can't understand my Am accent. And people in the US think I sound like a Kiwi. No one can understand me FTW!

sarah said...

I'm from Toronto and when I lived in Alberta for a couple of years, I would always get "You're not from around here, are you?" when I spoke to people at stores and stuff.

Why do people say anything? If it's that obvious, I already know. If it's not that obvious, I would rather not know.

..... Carmen said...

Seriously where did you find that video? lol Thanks for the laugh tonight :) Your posts always make me smile.

wherewiller said...

Yeah totally - my husband HATES going through the drive through now. He often gets asked if he's an Aussie too.

Metropolitan Mum said...

Hahaha. I watched the movie - hilarious! I so feel like doing this whenever I call HSBC (in India?), and they just don't understand a single word of what I am saying. I am Austrian, but I am faaaaar away from Arnie Schwarzenegger accent wise. And bizeps wise, too, of course. And jaw wise, too. Anyway, what I wanted to say was that I really feel to trash something everytime I call them, but then I realise that I am at home and trashing our phone wouldn't help anybody - except of BT maybe, who'd be happy to sell us another very crappy phone.

And theeeeeeeen???

Lady Mama said...

OHmommy - Canada has its share of immigrants - especially Calgary. But most of the people I talk to day in day out are Canadian, which is why I feel out of place I guess.

Sarah - Haha. I know! Keep it to yourself thanks.

Carmen - the video is from the movie "Dude where's my car?" (watch it, it's funny!) That scene always has me in stitches!

Metropolitan Mum - Those call centres are the worst aren't they! said...

See now in my area I have the reverse problem. I can't understand the invisible person on the drive thru speaker because they have thick accents. He/She's gotta repeat herself 20 times because I can't understand what is being sad.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

So, what part of Australia are you from? (evil grin!!)

What's funny is I was born and raised in the Seattle area - now I live in Pennsylvania where they have an interesting way of even after 12 years of being here, I get the 'You ain't from 'round these here parts are youins?' :) Apparently I have an accent and didn't even know it. ;)

LOVED video - it's been a while since I've seen that movie, I think I'll have to rent it again! :)

Mom Mayhem says: said...

Ha-I hate drive-thrus too! I don't even have an accent (that I know of ;) And I always did love that part of Dude,where's my car -Hilarious!