Monday, November 23, 2009

Conversations of an ordinary day.

~

Me: Hi. I'm expecting my flooring to be delivered today. Is it still happening?
Flooring man: Um. Let me check... Uh. No.
Me: Shi-oot. Really?
Flooring man: It's scheduled for tomorrow.
Me: Um, but I was told today. I canceled my plans to be here. All day.
Flooring man: Yeah. Sorry. No. Tomorrow morning.
Me: But I'm not here tomorrow morning. That's why I scheduled it for Monday.
Flooring man: Oh. Um.
Me: Yeah.
Flooring man: Hmm.
Me: Hmm?
Flooring man: Hmm. Well. When can you be there?
Me: Tomorrow afternoon.
Flooring man: Um. Uh. Hmm. Um. Tomorrow afternoon... tomorrow afternoon.... Um... Errr... Dum, dum, de dum, dum, de dum.... Let's see.... Tomorrow afternoon.... Um... Yeah.
Me: Yeah?
Flooring man: Yeah...

~

UPS delivery woman:
Knocks on door.
Dog: Bark Bark Bark BARK! BARK! BARK!
Me: Shut up Bongo!
Matthew: Shuddup Bongo!
Me: Matthew don't say that!
Matthew: Okay.
Me: Hello! Sorry, it's okay he's friendly.
UPS delivery woman: Um. Okay. Drops parcel and runs.

~

Me: Hello?
Silence... Silence... Silence
Me: Hello? Hello?
Call center person with thick accent:
Hellooo. My name is Sandra McLaferty. I am calling from XYZ Mobility. I would like to tell you about a new plan we're offering....
Me: Excuse me. Is this a sales call?
Call center person with thick accent: Well, I'm just calling to let you know about this new...
Oliver, in my other arm, starts screaming.
Call center person with thick accent: ...and for a short time you can...
Me: I CAN'T HEAR YOU. MY BABY IS SCREAMING.
Call center person with thick accent: It would reduce your phone bills by....
Me: I'M SORRY BUT WHATEVER IT IS I DON'T WANT IT.
Call center person with thick accent: Oh, well, but I also wanted to let you know about...
Me: OKAY. GOODBYE.
Click.

~

Me: Oliver, let go of my leg please.
Oliver: Maa!
Me: Oliver, don't bite my leg.
Oliver: Baa!
Me: Oliver, please don't bite my - OUCH! For the love of.... AGH!
Oliver: Haaa! Haaa!
Me: Oliver, don't climb up my leg. Please don't climb.
Oliver: Heee! Heee!
Me: Oliver, what do you want from me?
Oliver: Hooo. Heee. Haaa!

~
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7 comments:

Heather said...

have one climbing up my leg as i type! funny but the only time he ever does it is if I am on the computer.

Mwa said...

I can just about hear the women of the world have those exact conversations in sync and overlapping.

Lil said...

LOL the last one is my fav! HE hE He

wherewiller said...

Love it :)

James (SeattleDad) said...

We have made our cells our primary phones, still have a land line basic plan, but turn off the ringer. If someone leaves a message, we call them back.

ThatGirl39 said...

This made me smile! Hope youre still smiling after all of those conversations!

Elaine A. said...

It's ALL too familiar. REALLY.