I had tried sleep training before and failed. On purpose, kind of, because my baby was my baby and I couldn't let go of his sweet needy cuddles. I continued giving in to his demands, two, three or four times a night, even though I knew my night visits were more about comfort than necessity.
Then my doctor asked me, matter of factly, what about you Sarah?
And I was like, huh?
She pointed to the cracks under the surface, sort of like the varicose veins you hope no one will notice.
Lately it's as though my brain cells have one by one been jumping ship with each sleepless night. And the thing is - I need those molecules of brainy goodness. Because I have two kids, a husband, friends, a life, interests, and soon, a career again. A career that requires brains for problem solving.
So, four nights ago, we put Oliver down in his bed, kissed him goodnight, and told him we'd see him in the morning. That night there were a few crying spells. Each time, we'd go in to check on him and make sure he was safe and warm. And then we left him.
And that first night, we slept. For SEVEN WHOLE HOURS.
Each night since then has been a little better, with less stirrings, and then last night - the fourth night, Oliver slept from 7 at night til 7 in the morning. Without a single peep.
Now I just need to make sure I don't get pregnant again any time soon.