Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Remember sleep?

I have a vague memory of a time, long ago, when there were weekend mornings of lying in bed past nine o'clock and just, like, sleeping. And nights that were free of interruption and filled only with the sounds of breathing and snoring and sheets being tugged (J is an outrageous sheet hog).

I'm pretty sure I spent about 28 years doing the consistent nightly sleeping thing. That's over 80% of my life. So why can I hardly remember it?

At around nine months we had finally convinced Oliver to sleep through the night - that was last month. It was like a break in the clouds. A gift I'd been saving up for. A long-awaited, long-deserved prize. It lasted a blissful four weeks. And then it ended abruptly.

Really, it was too good to last. Having two children close together inevitably leads to years of sleeplessness brought about by teething, colds, fevers and other random reasons to be awake in the middle of the night. But every night, I told myself tonight will be better. Being ever the optimist.

That's how last night, and the night before that started, with me confidently telling J I have a feeling tonight's going to be okay.

The night before last went like this.

11 p.m. To bed.
12 am. My lamp shade mysteriously falls off my bed side table.
1 am. I get up realizing the heat is still set to 22 degrees and it's sweltering.
3 am. Oliver wakes up.
4:30 am. Oliver wakes again.
5 am. Matthew wakes up wanting milk.
6 am. Matthew is still awake and wants more milk.
6:30 am. J gets up for work.
7 am. I get up to the call of the kids.

And after such a bad night, I was once again determined that last night would be better.


11 pm. To bed.
12 am. Oliver wakes crying.
12:30 am. I attempt to bring him into bed with me. This results in him flailing like a wild fish and smacking me around like a tennis ball.
12:45 am. I almost settle Oliver, when there is a power surge, a flash of light, and beeping from various electronic devices, waking him from the brink of sleep.
1 am. Matthew is woken by Oliver. Dominoes.
1:15 am. I stand between the boys' rooms listening to the simultaneous yelling, pondering my options while imagining what it must be like to sleep.
1:30 am. J brings Matthew into our bed. I console Oliver.
1:45 am. By now we have read three books with Matthew, who's wide awake and giggling merrily.
2 am. Everyone is back in their beds.
2:30 am. Oliver is asleep but Matthew is talking. Loudly. I put a pillow over my head and just hope that by some miracle I'll make it through to morning.

So... guess what my prediction for tonight is? It's going to be awful. It's going to be terrible, hideous, monstrous. So bad that by tomorrow morning I will simply have to pour the coffee beans directly into my mouth and add boiling water from the kettle.

Image from www.cartoonstock.com

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Captain Dumbass said...

It gets better. Somewhat.

Sparkless said...

I remember that as being the worst part of being a parent of two young kids. Now that mine are almost teens I sleep. I even get to sleep in and let them get their own breakfast. It will get better, I promise.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

My three are now three and four years old and it still sucks. I was up four times last night. Who knows when it will end. Perhaps when they leave for college?

Midwest Mommy said...

I love this because you are so honest. This is exactly what it is like to have kids. I have permanent bags since having kids.

..... Carmen said...

How did it go? Hopefully you got a bit of sleep last night. I like the idea of the coffee beans and hot water poured directly into the mouth. There are many days I feel like that would be the quickest and best option.

Lady Mama said...

Last night was just as bad. I'm on my second bucket of coffee. Yawn...

Bear and Bones Mama said...

I'm so sorry. It gets better - ish. Only -ish. Not to be a spoilsport, but I don't want to get your hopes up. Better it will be, but only -ish.

Tammy said...

Haha... and I'm not sleeping with only one!! However instead of coffee I find myself drinking at least 1-2 litres of Coke per day!

Metropolitan Mum said...

Little L is a good sleeper. *knocks frantically on wooden table* I am not going to have another baby unless little L has started nursery, i.e. I would be able to nap with baby #2 during the day. I feel like I have so much sleep to catch up with, I'd die if I couldn't nap during the day.
Sorry to hear your boys are keeping you awake. !!

James (SeattleDad) said...

It's hard enough with just one. I can't imagine dealing with two not sleeping well.

Good luck and I hope it gets better soon.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Sleepless nights are so not fun. Hopefully Santa brought you some sleep for Christmas! ;)

Wishing you a Very Merry Christmas! :)