Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Uncool

I once posed for a fashion student friend under the arches of a bridge in Waterloo, London, in the freezing winter weather, wearing jeans, a bra and the corset she had designed and sewed. Unable to fasten the too-tight corset around my waist, we stopped a stranger to ask if he had a knife (thankfully he was not Jack the Ripper) in order to cut the corset open to fit me. As I stood for the shot and she snapped me on her semi-pro camera, passers by looked on curiously - it was the middle of a cold day under a bridge after all.

Back then, I seemed to know what was cool - more because of my hip friends than my own instincts. They mentored me in the ways of the hottest fashion, the newest music and the best bars and clubs.

Fast forward ten years and a different life later, I feel about as far from young and cool as I've ever felt. Far, far away from those young people with the cool stuff. (Notice I said "young people"? I've seriously had it.)

There are certain signs that have pointed toward this mysterious aging of late.

When I hear pop music on the radio I feel a sudden urge to reach into the car stereo and strangle the DJ. I hear myself saying, over and over, "What is this crap?". I even once heard myself say the dreaded words "Music these days is far worse than the stuff I grew up with." It's true though! I'd take The Cure and Semisonic over the new radio crap any day.

And the other day I made a snide remark about a girl walking down the street with a ridiculously short skirt. Then, straight away I remembered I once wore a skirt that short - a skirt my Dad claimed was actually a belt and promptly made me change out of. Which I did, then changed back into the belt-skirt when I was out of sight.

And then the other night me and J were eating at a restaurant when J nodded toward the next table. "What is that?" He asked, motioning toward the black bandage-y-thing on the young man's arm. "A bandage." I said plainly. "Oh." He said. "I thought it might be some kind of fashion statement or something."

And then I snorted and laughed so loud that wine almost flew from my nose and the couple next to us actually looked at me.

"Oh honey." I said. "We're getting old."
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12 comments:

Loukia said...

It is true, in many ways I feel so much older now than I did back then... well, I guess because I am getting older... I have two kids, after all! I have to say, though, I like most of the stupid pop music I hear on the radio - I know, I know... ;) But seeing what young people wear today? GOOD GOD! And everybody is SO SKINNY! Do they never eat? Sheesh!

Elaine A. said...

I have trouble with some of the music these days too. And that Lady Gaga woman is WAY outrageous. I'll take my '80's Madonna any day, thankyouverymuch.

And yes, the short skirts drive me nuts, especially when my nieces wear them!! ;-)

liliana said...

"C-O-O-L" whats that?? OH Are you talking about the temperature outside??
LOL

ModernMom said...

LOL I so relate! If it wasn't for magazine covers I manage to catch a glance of and my 10 year old daughter I wouldn't have a clue. Funny thing is, the older I get, the less I care!

Heather said...

oh honey, sadly we are. Great post.

Captain Dumbass said...

Time can be cruel. Every time I see some kid with his had on sideways I have to fight the urge to slap it off him.

Hey, I saw some pics last night of buses in Calgary half buried in snow. I'd like to say I didn't laugh, but I'm a bastard like that.

Mwa said...

Oh, I feel what you're saying. And I'm 32. So definitely past it.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

It is when all the new covers of songs are played and I find myself saying 'the original was so much better'that i know that I have turned into my parents!

Midwest Mommy said...

It's true but I swear when my mom was saying these same things to me when I was younger she was not as cool as I am right now. I'm still cool, right? Right? Oh there's no hope I am turning into my mother.

Maternal Tales said...

Oh sweetheart - I am so with you. I swore it would never happen, but I don't seem to be able to do a damn thing about it. My 18-year-old stepdaughter started making me feel old a very long time ago when she first got into music. There I was thinking I was still young and hip and there she was naming all these bands I'd never heard of. 'Kings of Leon'?? I said - 'never heard of them'!!! (This was a few years ago)! I'm now trying to learn cool from her...

Lady Mama said...

Loukia - haha okay I admit I do like *some* of the pop music I hear. And yes the skinniness is annoying. (not bitter at all)

Elaine - I still listen to the Immaculate Collection occasionally!

Lil - Hehe. Yes, right, the weather...

ModernMom - That's true, the fact that I'm admitting it must mean I don't care too much.

Heather - :) Thanks.

CD - Yeah it's real fun over here in the snow and beyond freezing weather.

Mwa - Glad I'm not the only one.

BB - Absolutely - but usually they ARE better...

MM - Yeah for sure way cooler than they!

MT - Ooh, it's a harsh wake up call when an 18 yr old tells you what's hot and you've never even heard of it. :)

James (SeattleDad) said...

I work at a university so I get the double edge sword of keeping up on what is in and also watching the kids look younger and younger with every year that passes.

Ugh.s