Thursday, February 25, 2010

How to get in shape after a winter of gastronomy.

Every year I get caught up in a cycle of bad eating habits. Right now, I'd say I'm at the worst point of the cycle. If I were to compare this point of the cycle to something, it'd be the shortest day of the year: dark, cold, listless, very far from summer - but, with a little tiny ray of hope.

To explain, here's an example of a typical year for me.

Summer
I'm in a routine of eating healthy things that are not deep fried in butter or covered in chocolate or cheese, and I exercise three or four times a week.

Halloween
The mini Halloween candies appear on store shelves, and here marks the end of all good habits, and the decline of my general health and muscle definition.

Thanksgiving
Turkey and pie. Turkey and pie. Beer and wine and turkey and pie. And now it's dark in the evenings and I can't possibly run in the dark.

Christmas
It's too late. Willpower is a distant memory. Cookies, cakes, tarts, squares, breads, cheese platters, pies and alcohol have taken me hostage.

Jan, Feb
New year's resolutions? Yeah, no. My new, unbreakable routine consists of chocolate cake for breakfast, cheese fondue for lunch and donuts for dinner. Exercise is no longer. And an unknown number of pounds have been gained, but I don't know how many because I've hidden the scales in the attic and refuse all knowledge of where they are.

March
I try. I swear, I do, but then..

April
..to add insult to injury, that plump furry bastard with the hop - the Easter Bunny, turns up with the eggs, all oh hello, it's me! Look what I brought! More sugar. You need more sugar in your diet.

May
Finally, with the threat of summer and strappy, sleeveless dresses, sandals and, dare I say - swim suits (horror) - I slam my fist on the table in a masterful kind of way and declare enough is enough, and go for a jog. The jogging leads to guilt about eating bad stuff. And the guilt leads to eating less bad stuff and more jogging.

June
A pound or so is gone. I know this because my jeans are at least a whole millimeter less tight and I could swear my bum is not as big. And I jump in the air as though I've lost thirty pounds and am now certainly swimsuit-model material.

Summer
I'm in a routine of eating healthy things that are not deep fried in butter or covered in chocolate or cheese, and I exercise three or four times a week.


So, what does a person do when they're in the bad place? (see Jan, Feb)

Why, sign yourself up for a 10km race of course! Never mind that your running shoes have not felt the hard concrete of the running path for over four months.

I mean, how hard can 10km be? (insert laugh of mad person)

It's in September, which means I have plenty of time to train. And I'll be running with friends, which means they probably won't let me duck out half way through the race and find the nearest pub...

But yay!

Wish me luck. And a miracle. 10k here I come.
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24 comments:

Heather said...

Good luck! the idea of running so far makes me feel a little queasy to be honest!

Mwa said...

Good luck!

(I love your posts. They are so well-written and always make me think.)

Hot Cross Mum said...

i love this post - it's SO true! Good luck with the 10k - it's tough, but so worth it when you stumble across the finish line! Have tagged you over at mine.

Séverine said...

omg, you're crazy! :) And here I am posting about trying to lose the preggo belly, and you're all "I'm gonna run 10km". Stop it!! ;)

Loukia said...

LOVE this post! You are ME!!!!! Thank you!!!!

The Tompkins Family said...

Look at you go!!!! You are a motivation!!

I don't know why but when it's dark out all the time, I feel like I can eat more and hide. 50 layers of clothing for Calgary winters doesn't help either!

Elaine A. said...

Mmmmm.... beer and wine and turkey and pie. Is it Thanksgiving yet? ;-P

BellaMama said...

Yes... this is sooo true! LOVE this post! I have also felt in that very bad place, and now have (insanely) signed myself up for a 24 mile hike in May, and a 5km run in July. Good luck with your 10k!!!

Diney said...

good luck with the 10k - you'll feel so fantastic (when it's over)

Mammatalk said...

I love how you broke this down. Makes so much sense!

Anonymous said...

Gastronomy - nice! You are retaining some anatomy after all.
Love the post and we will buzz around that race course- Sara

If I Could Escape . . . said...

What a great post and so true! Good luck with the 10K.

I have my first 5K in April! Yikes!

Chic Mama said...

Wow, good luck with it all! I've given up...cookies, wine, curries, CHOCOLATE are all on the menu! I am sure I will live to regret it! ;0)) x

James (SeattleDad) said...

10K is like a 10 yards, right? I can handle that too.

Good luck to you. You are a brave woman.

mrsrabbit said...

I have only just found your blog and I identify with so many things..ahh the joy of blogs. anyhow I too have just signed up for a 10 k and a 5k in June which is part of a radio team so I will get loads of publicity.
Good luck xx

Kate Coveny Hood said...

This is so me... I finally decided that I had to cut the things that I overdo. So for a while I'm not eating sweets or drinking wine. Actually - I do get to drink wine on Tuesdays when I watch Lost with my neighbor. She's going to a divorce, so it's all about solidarity (and excuses to sneak a glass or two of wine). I'm dreaming about chocolate chips...

Libby said...

GAH! Good luck! Keep us updated!!!

Libby said...

GAH! Good luck! Keep us updated!!!

JoeyRes said...

I can't wait for spring so I can get out and walk (not run). Good luck on your 10K, I'm totally amazed by runners!

MommaKiss said...

I'm running a 5k in 12 days. TWELVE. I'm scared out of my gourd. The last time I 'raced' was in high school when they make you run a mile for the fitness tests. I was just ahead of the kid in the wheel chair. But - my food cycle is much like yours...although I've had a pretty good Jan / Feb...thank GOD!

Cindy said...

this sounds just like my seasonal calendar. Usually around March I start to feel the slight panic of knowing Spring is around the corner and I have to lose whatever weight I gained during the winter.

Young Yoga Masters said...

Yes I can relate! Especially if you're dealing with snow - it's too good an excuse not to walk.

Good luck with the race!

Terra H. said...

Good afternoon! Stopping in from SITS. I wish you all the best with the marathon. The food cycle you posted rings all too true.

lil said...

Your year seems very much like mine, except the summer part, except for this year of course, since I will be attempting to run the 10k as well. You can count on me to encourage you on as long as I am in the race..do they kick people out??