About three years ago I meant to make an appointment with my family doctor for something which I can no longer remember. And then I put it off, and delayed it, and then I had a baby, and then had another baby, and then just never went to the doctor at all - apart, of course, from the routine pre- and post-baby-prodding-and-poking appointments.
The trouble with putting off appointments is all the medical issues that pile up, like a basket of smelly, mismatched socks. Or something.
So after three years of putting it off because of not having enough time / being a terrible procrastinator / plain forgetting / other lame excuses, I finally called my doctor's office to make an appointment.
The conversation went like this:
"Hello, I'd like to make an appointment with Doctor Fix-A-Lot*."
(*not her real name)
"What is the appointment for?"
"Well, a few things... two, or three, or maybe four things? How many things can we cover in one appointment?"
"Um, it depends what they are. What are they?"
"Okay, first, I have a planter's wart on my foot."
"Mm hmm. So we''ll need nitrous oxide."
"Second, I need to have the varicose veins on my leg looked at, and I need to have that injection thingy they do to get rid of them."
"And third, I'm about six months overdue my pap smear."
"And also, I've noticed some gray hairs recently, which just can't be right, because, y'know, I'm only 31."
Okay I didn't really say that.
"Hold on please, we'll need to schedule more than one appointment for all this..."
And she went to find some spaces in her calendar.
I think by September 2011 I should be good.