Thursday, June 3, 2010

An excuse a day keeps the doctor away.

About three years ago I meant to make an appointment with my family doctor for something which I can no longer remember. And then I put it off, and delayed it, and then I had a baby, and then had another baby, and then just never went to the doctor at all - apart, of course, from the routine pre- and post-baby-prodding-and-poking appointments.

The trouble with putting off appointments is all the medical issues that pile up, like a basket of smelly, mismatched socks. Or something.

So after three years of putting it off because of not having enough time / being a terrible procrastinator / plain forgetting / other lame excuses, I finally called my doctor's office to make an appointment.

The conversation went like this:

"Hello, I'd like to make an appointment with Doctor Fix-A-Lot*."
(*not her real name)

"What is the appointment for?"

"Well, a few things... two, or three, or maybe four things? How many things can we cover in one appointment?"

"Um, it depends what they are. What are they?"

"Okay, first, I have a planter's wart on my foot."

"Mm hmm. So we''ll need nitrous oxide."

"Second, I need to have the varicose veins on my leg looked at, and I need to have that injection thingy they do to get rid of them."

"Okay..."

"And third, I'm about six months overdue my pap smear."

"Oh..."

"And also, I've noticed some gray hairs recently, which just can't be right, because, y'know, I'm only 31."

Silence.

Okay I didn't really say that.

"Hold on please, we'll need to schedule more than one appointment for all this..."

And she went to find some spaces in her calendar.

I think by September 2011 I should be good.
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8 comments:

fiona said...

HILAROUS post!
But didn't you know......grey hair comes with the first baby!
And good luck getting an extra appointment!

LisaDay said...

Thanks for the heads up about the doctor's name. Good luck with the wart. Ouch.

LisaDay

Elaine A. said...

Same story here. I have a laundry list of things I could go to the family doctor for too. They're gonna love me when I finally make an appointment! HA!

Hope you are all well soon! ;)

lil said...

LOL loved the last part! Doc appointments are a pain expecially with kids, it takes up a whole morning/afternoon for one issue...at least for me anyway.

LZ @ My Messy Paradise said...

I'm with you! I can always find time to keep the girls' appointments exactly on schedule, but not mine.
If you find a doctor who will fix gray, I shall travel to Canada to talk to him ;-)

Kristy said...

Oh, I know, it is such a pain! We are so good about getting our kids in, but us???? And, I love the title for your post! Perfect.

ShannonL said...

I can't believe how pushy the receptionist was... needing to know *exactly* what your issues were?!

I am overdue for my pap too. I called the doctor's office on Friday to make an appointment. It's booked for mid-OCTOBER! Crazy.

Good luck on getting rid of the wart, veins and grey hair! :-)

dodi-dodi said...

Side-note: I went to over a dozen appointments to get a planter wart removed with nitrous oxide. Didn't work. You know what home remedy did? Duct tape. Seriously, I jest not. I put a big piece (big enough so it goes from one side of the foot to another, otherwise it just going to move around if you just put on one spot). Leave the piece of tape there for a few days (4-5). When you pull off the tape after those days, a lot of the wart will come off as do. Repeat process until all gone. Trust me, it's a lot less painful than nitrous oxide. Also, it may reduce the number of appointments you will have to make in the while. :)