Thursday, September 23, 2010

Diary of a Mum's sick day

2:00 am: My toddler is crying. I get up, feeling strangely fine but slightly wired from the cold meds, take him some milk, and head back to bed.

8:00 am: I wake up feeling like five buffalo trampled on me while I was sleeping. My ears and throat are on fire and my neck feels like it slept on broken rocks.

8:30 am: As my husband leaves for work, I wail internally at the thought of the day ahead, and smile through gritted teeth as my kids reject their waffles and begin throwing Cheerios at each other.

9:00 am: I call work and tell them I won't be in this afternoon.

9:10 am: I call my nanny and tell her not to come.

9:30 am: I place craft activities on the dining table: these should keep the boys occupied for at least an hour! Foam stickers, play doh and colouring books. Five minutes later everyone is screaming because the other has THEIR pen / crayon / sticker book and they want it back NOW.

9:45 am: Craft time is over. I lie on the sofa, hoping no one will notice I've retreated for some quiet time. Both boys leap on me from nowhere, laughing hysterically and sticking things to my head.

10:00 am: I put on a movie, no longer able to entertain the boisterous two. I lie on the floor for as long as humanly possible, only moving to sip honey and lemon and jam cold and flu medicine in my mouth.

11:00 am: Movie is over. What now Mum!? WHAT NOW?!

11:30 am: Lunch is going to be served early today! Grilled cheese sandwiches made from cheese strings pulled apart into strips and wedged between slices of rye bread for lack of proper cheese supplies in the fridge, and other random vegetables.

12:00 pm: Nap time for everyone! HURRAY! Little son is down to bed, older son is down, Mommy crawls under the covers and groans with relief. SILENCE!

12:05 pm: Nap time is OVER! Older son storms into my room, demanding I read him Thomas the Tank Engine and bring him some juice RIGHT NOW PLEEEEZ MOMMY. I read the book with half open eyes and a croaky voice.

12:15 pm: I fall into a delirium in which I fantasize about having five servants and a private wing.

12:30 pm: Boys have discovered musical instruments and are drumming / tamberining / jingle belling in another room. I don't care because my head is going to fall off and roll around the floor in a minute, so I stay in bed.

1:00 pm: I play dead but it doesn't wash. The boys use my bed as a trampoline and gymnastic bench, bouncing around my lifeless body. Finally they crash down around me, hooting. A little fist smacks me in the eye and for a second I wonder if my eye ball is still there. It is.

The rest of the afternoon: I alternate between setting up crafts and movies and sneaking back to bed every opportunity with my meds and hot drinks. Between the shrieking, the laughing, the accusations, the dog barking at everything that passes our house, the cheerios being crammed between the cushions of the sofa, the spilled juice on the floor left to get sticky, the Lego blocks explosion, the cookie crumbs stuck to the sticky juice and the recycling now emptied over the kitchen floor, we make it to 5:30 pm. I pull together something kind of edible for dinner and wait for J to walk through the door so I can dive (and I do mean dive) back into bed and pull the covers over my head.


And that, my friends, is how a Mum takes a sick day.
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Nikki said...

Wow that is a long day!!! Thats nice at least you got to take naptime even though too short with them!

Sparkless said...

Your first mistake was cancelling the nanny. If she came you could have gone back to bed for the day!

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh no! I hope you get some kind of rest soon.

James (SeattleDad) said...

Yikes that sounds like what they should sentance hardened criminals to.

Hope you are better soon.

LisaDay said...

I like that the nap time was over at 12:05. I hope you are feeling better. Apparently, there is some nasty cold going on in the west. I will stay in Ontario, thank you.


Chic Mama said...

Poor you....I have had many days like that...the trampolining on the bed is the worst I think because you are so worried that they are going to fall off the bed that your heart skips a beat every time they jump. Hope you are feeling better today. x

ShannonL said...

Wow, that's horrible! That is NOT a sick day... you still had to work! You should have let the nanny come over anyway. You could have got a little rest AND some help. Hope you're feeling better now!

Mwa said...

Ouch! That is just painful.
You need some longer movies. Then put them on repeat.