I'm okay with my body.
I feel almost guilty saying it, like I should whisper it or something. I'm okay with my body, but shhhh, don't tell anyone! Because I'm not thin, not even on the thin side of slim. I feel as though I should want to be as thin as the size 2 female celebrities in movies, TV shows, magazines and basically everywhere.
Right now I'm a size 10 or 12 (US), depending on which store I'm shopping at. I can't get away with wearing whatever I want, and I estimate I'm carrying an excess of about 10 lbs. From the side, my tummy makes me look as though I could be a few months pregnant. My butt is not on the small side (then again it's never been). My breasts are bigger than they were before I had kids and I'm still getting used to that. And when I'm carrying a little extra weight you can see it, as you can with everyone in my family, in my face.
Before I had Matthew I was slim. Or, rather, I was on the stocky side of slim. And that is exactly how I like to be. It's where my body feels right. Slim enough to wear almost anything I wanted, but with enough flesh to show a bit of a curve, fill out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I was a size 8 then.
For me, there's something comforting and womanly about being full-figured. Maybe it's to do with the satisfaction of food, of eating well. Or maybe I'm stocking up in case of an emergency - you know, in case I get caught in a storm or.... um.... something, for, like, days....? Okay, maybe not.
But it would be nice to feel okay about feeling okay about my figure (minus the excess 10 lbs), instead of always hearing that finicky voice telling me I should want to be thinner, that thinner is what's acceptable.
Which is why I like seeing curvaceous women celebrities in the media. Because those are the ones with the influence. Not to get into a huge thing about why women of a "normal" size should feel okay with their bodies (that horse has been flogged too many times), but I suspect the acceptance of fuller figures will eventually happen, not with advertisers forcing the message down our throats (mentioning the names of no white feathered bird skincare companies), but by real women in the spotlight, content with their natural body shape.
Like these curvy ladies.