Dr Mr. Dyson and elves,
I heard on the grapevine, you're planning to release a new product, specifically for dog hair.
Is it true? Is it?
Forgive my impatience, it's just that I NEED to know. RIGHT NOW. Please.
I am VERY impatient.
Because I've been living in a veritable swamp of dog hair for the past five years. Every single day, at least fifteen minutes of my life is swallowed up by sucking up said dog hair. And that's, like, 105 minutes per week, 420 minutes a month, 5040 minutes a year. 84 hours. 3.5 days of my life, spent vacuuming dog hair. Yes, I worked it all out. Because I'm very sad from all the vacuuming.
So you can understand my excitement when I heard about your pending invention of dog hair miraculousness. And yes, that definitely is a word.
So excited am I, that I've drawn up a few ideas of what I think it might be. They're quite brilliant, my inventions, so you might want to think about asking me permission to use these for your future products. I don't charge much.
Might it be a dog-hamster-ball, that sucks all the hair away from the animal as they run around the room in dizzying circles?
Or this collapsible doggy vacuum tunnel?
Whatever it is, please hurry up with it.
Here's a preview from Dyson's elves. Due to be revealed in November 2010.