There were shrieks of delight as I pulled the Halloween Gingerbread House box off the shelf at Safeway and delicately placed it into the cart, where my sons were perched.
"Look at all those candies!"
"Can we eat those now?"
"I'm gonna eat all the orange ones and all the black ones."
"And then I'm gonna eat the whole house."
On the drive home I daydreamed that I was secretly a crafty genius and that my Halloween House would dazzle everyone that saw it.
"Wow - did you make that? That is so impressive! You should be, like, a cake decorator or something!"
And anyway, it was a kit, how hard could it be?
This, friends, is what the Halloween House should look like.
This is my Halloween House.
That is the only theory I can come up with. They had a professional craftsman glue the gingerbread house together with industrial strength super glue, a cake decorator apply the icing, and a designer remove all remaining flaws in Photoshop.
Because obviously it has nothing to do with my poor craftsmanship and lack of patience.