Thursday, October 21, 2010
When I'm sleeping well at night, when I'm drinking my eight glasses of water, when I have a little time and energy, and a little contentment, that's when I'm feelin' good.
And when I'm feelin' good, I forget the small, inconsequential things like blog stats and dust bunnies under the sofa and whether or not I've ticked off everything on my to-do list. I worry less about the number of calories in the dessert I ate after dinner and more about how good it tasted.
When I'm feelin' good, I take better care of myself. I feed myself healthy foods, I drink more water and less coffee. I chew my food slowly instead of gulping it down as though it was my last meal. I take time to rest during the day instead of scrambling from one thing to the next without breaking. I take a walk outside and inhale the fresh air. I let thoughts come into my head instead of trying to cram more in there.
When I'm feelin' good, everything in front of me becomes clear, like an image coming sharply into focus through a lens. Not a hazy jumble of thoughts all clamouring for my attention. I realize what matters and what doesn't, which things require my attention and which don't. I can sort through all the noise and begin to make sense of it.
When I'm feelin' good, the time I spend with my family is a better quality time. I look into their eyes and listen carefully when they talk to me, taking in their jaggedy conversation and saving the sounds of their voices in my memory. I sit and watch them, following their buoyant moves as they jump and dance and spin around the garden.
When I'm feelin' good, I'm filled with inspiration by the things around me. The smell of freshly-ground coffee beans, the texture of a snowball, the colour of fall leaves in the park, patterns on a piece of fabric, flowers in someone's front garden, the smell of fresh mint. I make notes in a journal - ideas to be saved for something later, or not.
When I'm feelin' good, I'm filled with contentment for the moment and excitement for the future. I imagine what the years ahead of us look like as our sons grow up and become the people they're going to be. I think about the holidays we'll take in Europe, the places we'll go.
These moments of clarity have been sparse lately, several years of sleeping poorly and not taking the best care of myself will do that.But on the occasion when I'm feelin' good, I know it won't be long until these moments surface more frequently. And when they do, I'll appreciate them like never before.
Posted by Lady Mama at 8:48 AM