Monday, December 13, 2010

Contradictions of Motherhood

Neat Freak Vs. Chaos Keeper.
I've no idea when I became a neat freak. As a teenager my family would poke fun at me for hoarding empty tea cups in my bedroom and leaving plants to die in the corner. In my twenties I became a little more concerned with keeping my apartment clean and tidy. But, if you'd told me that I'd be vacuuming every single day, I'd have thought you were two figs short of a figgy pudding. Being a neat freak and having kids is... basically... lunacy. But I am. On a positive note, though, being a neat freak means I can eat more cookies because I'm constantly burning off calories with all the cleaning. Uh. Right...?

Food Lover Vs. Family Nutritionist. 
I've mentioned a few (hundred) times, how much I love food. Cooking it, eating it, reading about it, staring at it with drool running down my chin, etc. But, when it comes to making healthy choices, I'm not so clever. It's like the rich foods cooked in half a block of butter and cream call out to me.... eat me I'm soooo tasty and you deserve me. Cooking Light magazine? Don't even dangle that thing near me. There's nothing yummy in there and you know it. When it comes to food, the only thing that goes in my favour is that we do eat a lot of fruit and vegetables (along with all the butter).

Independence Seeker vs. Primary Care Giver. 
Until I started working again this year, I struggled with being home all the time. I was always seeking an out. At the weekend I'd leap at any opportunity to get out on my own. If anyone so much as murmured the word babysitting near me I'd pin them to the wall with masking tape and flee. Sometimes I'd lock myself in the bathroom for ten minutes just to hear my own solitary thoughts. Going back to school and starting a new job this year has helped me create a bit of balance again.

Internet Whore Vs. Dedicated Parent.
The Internet is a beautiful thing and at the same time an evil temptress. And like many people I've found myself drawn into its pretty, shiny, funny, fascinating, entertaining, time-wasting lure. So this year, I was ruthless. I cut back on Facebook and Twitter, and spent more time blogging and reading blogs (the important stuff). 

Impatient Creature Vs. Teacher. 
I'll just be honest, I have about as much patience as a Jack Russell with a treat dangling in front of it. I try, I try, and I try, to be a patient mother, but sometimes I'm not. It's why most of the time I clean up the toys myself at the end of the day, instead of patiently teaching the kids how to clean up and waiting for them to pick up each toy and put it away (writing this is making me impatient) (and also, do you know how many Lego pieces there are in our house? A lot.). And why I restlessly do things all day, without - you know - resting much. I need to do more yoga.

I think Alanis had it right when she sang... 

*And what it all comes down to* 
*Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet* 
*'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket* 
*And the other one is giving the peace sign*

What are your contradictions?
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James (SeattleDad) said...

Yeah the internet whore vs dedicated parent is an especially tough one for me. I can pull it off, probably because I don't clean nearly as much.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

There is a reason so many of us identified with that song, isn't there? Who does have it all right? But? At least you are trying and recognize it, right? Rock on.

LisaDay said...

As long as you aren't eating the butter straight up, is it such a bad thing?


Mwa said...

I have the no cleaning vs OCD dirty phobia going on. And also overly worried mother vs mother fostering independence in her kids. I feel quite schizophrenic at times.