Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Nickles and Dimes.

One thing I love about the weekend is the ability to take a shower alone. During the week, the kids follow me into the bathroom, pressing their noses up to the glass and asking me relentless questions on random topics such as what's for lunch, why the sky is blue, and when they're next going to see Santa.

So at the weekend I make the most of showering on my own, while the kids have someone else to keep them entertained. I take a lovely long time, pausing under the hot water, perhaps applying a body scrub, lathering my hair for far too long and generally enjoying the luxury of peace and quiet and aloneness.

Because as we all know, privacy more or less disintegrates when we become parents. 

A few mornings ago after my shower, I was getting dressed and my son looked up at me and innocently asked,

"Mummy, are those your nickles?"

"Yes honey, those are." I replied, quickly hauling my bra and t-shirt on before any more comments arose.

A minute later.

"Mommy, where are my nickles?" Tugging his t-shirt up and looking down.

"Where are they mummy?"

"They're right there." I say, pointing.

He got up and stared into the mirror.


"Why are your nickles bigger than mine?"

I paused, not sure how to answer, and then responded with something about girls' "nickles" being bigger than boys "nickles". Really - what kind of utterly crap answer was that? He looked confused and I quickly changed the topic to what we were having for breakfast.

As I was spreading peanut butter on toast I realized, these questions are the start of a whole onslaught of body / gender questions, which I am not ready for.

Even more worrying, what happens in the future when someone asks him for a nickle?
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Loukia said...

Oh dear! The conversations that are to come sa the boys continue to get older... I'm not that prepared!

Emily Krbec said...

That last line made me giggled out loud. Thanks :)

diney said...

That was funny! Believe me, there is more to come!! My 11 year old daughter sometimes gets into the bath with me (it is quite a big bath, thankfully!!) and she is still fascinated by my breasts and wants to touch them.'Will my boobies be soft and swingy like yours?' she asked this morning. Hmm - not sure that was the best thing to hear!
It's all a learning curve for them isn't it.

Metropolitan Mum said...

I wanted to say something really intelligent (haha, whom am I trying to kid??), but then I got distracted by the comment above. Soft and swingy? Hahaha.

EmmaK said...

So hilarious! He'll just pull up his top if asked 'can you spare a nickel!' I let it all hang out nudity wise but I have 2 girls it must be harder with a boy

WhisperingWriter said...


Yeah, Tommy asked me why he had nipples the other day.

Mummy Matters said...

I should have written that post, I'm exactly the same on the weekend, I even lock the bathroom door!

My daughter has been enquiring lots about nipples too, showing me where hers are and where her baby brothers are.

The most cringeworthy event had to be last week whilst getting dressed I had put on my underwear (g-string) and was bending down to gets my jeans when I felt a little fingers head into my bum cheeks as she said "here you are mummy your pants have got stuck!" needless to say I jumped a mile and headbutted the wardrobe!!

LisaDay said...

I would like to be there when someone asks him for a nickle. Too funny. My son hasn't asked about breast size, likely because his are bigger.'


Mwa said...

Oh yes. The start of a WHOLE lot more. I say you're lucky it was in the shower and not in the changing rooms of a shop, which seems to be my son's choice of place for embarrassing questions.

Angela said...

Oh GAWD - thank you so much for reminding me of the time my 7 YO son asked me if I have a "vaginal piercing" - SERIOUSLY. I mean, how does he ever KNOW about those THINGS?!?

I think his exact words were, just after I got out of the shower, "Mommy, do you have a piercing on your vagina?"

Yes. Trust me, it only gets worse.

And for the record - no, I don't. But I do have my navel pierced.

Angela said...

Oh, meant to add (to further horrify you and your readers) - then he asked me, "Why would someone even want one of those things?"


James (SeattleDad) said...

That's too funny. The poor confused boy.

If I Could Escape . . . said...

Oh my. That's hilarious. Don't worry, when the time comes you'll get through it. x