Thursday, March 10, 2011

Home exercise for parents, kids and dogs!

In the first week of my diet healthy eating plan, I lost one pound. And though one pound is not a substantial amount of lard subtracted from my jiggly happy behind, one pound is till one pound. And, considering the amount of accidental chocolate eating and wine drinking that occurred that first week, I'm not too sad about it.

Also? Look - this picture shows what one pound of fat looks like. My jiggly bits are this much less jiggly. So YAY.

Image from

The second week wasn't so successful (there was an accidental apple crisp, another bottle of wine, some twizzlers, a few slices of bread, some cheese, olives and a few lumps of sugar in my tea). But whatever. I still feel good about that first pound.

And then I remembered that my healthy eating plan was supposed to include an element of exercise. I had somehow (!) managed to completely eliminate this from my brain. So, because I'm still using the cold weather and slush as an excuse to not go for a run, I had the genius idea of getting an exercise DVD, which would allow me sweat away the calories in the privacy of my own home.

The last time I did an exercise DVD, I was about eighteen years old, and probably had a whole, empty room in which to perform the crazy flapping-up-and-down-for-an-hour thing in private without other people cramping me, standing on my toes, simultaneously screaming and yelling about Dora and Diego and socks. So, it was probably a little easier back then. You think?

After moving a few items of furniture out the way to clear some space for the flapping around, I told my sons (and dog) okay guys, mummy is going to do some exercises now, so you just sit and do some drawing on your table over there. 

The DVD started up, with four young, orange, skinny, bouncing fitness freaks, and one ultra-toned and rather shiny leader. "Let's have some fun!" She beamed at me with her startlingly white teeth. "Okay!" I beamed back sarcastically, starting my fast walk. As I marched on the spot, I noticed, the boys hadn't moved from their positions - one inch from me. The dog was also perched unnervingly close to my feet.

Five minutes into the DVD, my older son was trying, along with me, to keep up with the hyper fitness woman and her ambitious dance moves, flapping his arms and laughing hysterically. My younger son stood behind me, yelling "mummy! mummy!" with utmost concern in his voice. I suspect he thought his mother was having a vertical seizure. The dog helpfully wove in and out of my legs as I attempted to "grapevine" across the floor.

Fifteen minutes into the DVD my sons had discovered a new game: bash mummy on the tummy with balloons as she's leaping around the room, because that will be hilarious and provide much more entertainment than this boring DVD with people prancing around in yoga pants.

And so, the first day of my exercise DVD geniusness lasted approximately twenty minutes before I called it quits.

The next time I attempted it, I lasted forty minutes. Which means that, soon, I will probably look JUST LIKE the woman from the exercise DVD!

Don't you think?

The end.

p.s. Hahahahaha
p.p.s No, you are not invited to join in with my laughing. Only I am allowed to laugh at me.
p.p.p.s. Okay then, just a bit.

p.p.p.p.s Do you think she sneaks slithers of cheese when no one's looking too?
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Lindsay Blogs said...

This is exactly why I do my exercises (once every six months or so) after my kids are in bed and I've shoved the dog into the backyard. Nobody is allowed to watch mommy jiggle - I mean, exercise - and that dog is just a death trap.

Playground Snoop said...

I find I'm a little more successful with Yoga or Pilates DVDs.

Stephanie Faris said...

I had a blast with Paula Abdul's dance aerobics video back in the weekend before I was sick of it. But I think we each have to figure out what works for us. For me it's walking. I love to walk on walking trails and such but most days that's not feasible so I have a treadmill.

Elaine A. said...

With a flat belly like that I'm guessing she east a low-carb diet. ;-P

I tried doing the 30 Day Shred with G around one day and vowed never to do it again. He thought it was play time too and it was unsuccessful for all involved! ha!

But keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I love your humour. You're so funny....that's what keeps bringing me back :)

Heather said...

I was laughing until I read you PPS...then I stopped.

As for your PPPS - I don't think this woman eats slivers of anything. It is my belief that if you look that aren't having any fun...and as for me..I am all about fun!!

Captain Dumbass said...

I think she's actually a fembot so don't worry about it. My kids used to do that when I was using Wii Fit. Maybe they should actually incorporate kids into a work out video.

Karen@StrictlySimpleStyle said...

I can relate so well to this. I remember trying to workout when my son was a toddler, it lasted about 4 minutes. I honestly think the only reason I went to the gym so much when my kids were small was because it was the only "me" time I got all day. My husband was very sweet and encouraged me to go while he'd stay home with the kids.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

The last time I tried to do an exercise DVD daily, Oliver was four and would tackle me every time I had to get down on the floor. I eventually had to start getting up at 5 a.m. to have some privacy. Now we go to the YMCA where they have free childcare thank god.

Elle Strauss said...

Congratulations on your efforts for healthy living! One pound a week is actually a perfect weightloss pace. You're more likely to keep it off than with more radical efforts that show sudden drops in weight.

Lisa said...

Hahahahahahaha!(I'm laughing WITH you by the way, not at you). I tried to Pilates recently while the kids "played" near by. I didn't even make it five minutes without one child distracting me with questions about "what I was doing my my legs" and the other draped across my abdomen like a wrestler. I gave up. PS Mmmmm, cheese.

Mwa said...

I think she sneaks gin.

And that "vertical seizure" had me laughing rather a lot. Good one.

star exercise said...

thanks for sharing