As I was chugging back spoonfuls of Buckley's cough syrup last week, I remembered the company's tagline, "It Tastes Awful. And It Works.". It made me chuckle - it was so true. And I thought, wouldn't it be great if more companies used raw honesty in their advertising. And being one to always take a concept too far, I went ahead and made a whole slew of my own "honest" slogans. Oh yes I did.
Walmart: Awful store, but damn cheap.
Lululemon: Hideously over-priced polyester, but it really DOES make your bum look smaller.
Starbucks: With all the money you spent on venti no-foam double-whip extra-hot lattes, you probably
could have retired early.
Apple: Sexier than Microsoft.
Facebook: Catch up with old friends and then you wish you hadn't.
Twitter: Pretend you know loads of people.
Visa: Have what you can't afford. RIGHT NOW.
Toys"R"Us: Come in smiling, leave screaming.
UPS: It might get there on time, then again it might not.
Ikea: Swedish furniture so cheap you'll think you robbed us.
Yellow Pages: Still dumping heavy books on your doorstep even though no one uses them anymore.
Costco: For those occasions when you need five hundred kitchen rolls and a packet of gummy bears.
(And that, friends, is why I'm not an advertising copywriter.)
Feel free to join in! Your turn.
* McDonalds: ...
* Google: ...
* You Tube: ...