Wednesday, February 8, 2012

In The Land Of Unpublished Blog Posts.

For every blog post I publish there's another sitting idly in my drafts folder - one that's been written and then shoved aside, never to make a public appearance. And like the committed procrastinator that I am, I don't often get around to deleting them. So they remain there forever, unread, unloved, cast aside in the land of forgotten posts. Forever unmemorable.

Usually there's good reason for my not publishing these posts: they only make sense to me; they're not entertaining, funny or interesting in any way; they reference things that've happened in my life and are way too personal to publish; I wrote them when I was over-tired; delirious or inebriated.

But it's sad. Don't you think it's sad? All those unpublished posts that'll never be read, never given the opportunity to make someone chuckle, grimace, oppose, lob something at or at the very least nod their head at in empathy.

I feel bad for them.

I'm strange like that.

So on behalf of those discarded posts, and because I know you're super sad about it too (I'm pretty sure I can hear you crying), here are a few samples from my pile of rejects.

(They even have proper titles, poor things.)

Love On A Moving Device.
In which I write an entire post in the style of a really bad romantic novel about my new treadmill: how I met him online, fell head over heals for him, then brought him home (much to the dismay of my husband). And how, though our families say it won't last, we'll go far together (miles and kilometers).

Alien Movies And Other Reasons To Always Have The Remote Control.
In which I go into (way too much) detail about my loathing for alien movies and tell the story of how I was tricked into watching one about not just aliens but aliens and cowboys (double whammy NO).

Sexy Libraries.
In which I try to convince you that libraries are really sexy awesome places and get all up in your face about how we should all be reading smelly old books a lot more and then show you a riveting slide show of libraries from around the world.

Mommy Does A Really Good Impression Of You!
In which I explain why you should never impersonate your son's eccentric music teacher with the thick accent.

Hair Is My Problem.
In which I recite a crap poem about my how I can't decide what to do with my hairstyle. 

About That Skeleton I Wanted For Christmas. 
In which I reveal a conversation with my husband about how unfair it is that he won't let me have a skeleton (for anatomical purposes), and how I could call him Jones Bones and sit him in different poses around the house and dress him up for special occasions.

So now you know.

My utter nonsense that is better off in the drafts folder hidden treasures.

How about you? What hidden treasures are in your drafts folder? In fact, why not do your own post and then let me know! I'd love to hear about them.
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LisaDay said...

I think you should have a skeleton and when you figure out what to do with your hair, point me in the right direction, too.

I don't have drafts but I also write in Word and copy it into my blog.


Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

As I was reading through those draft ideas I kept wondering just why you didn't go ahead with them. That's some good stuff there!

I have drafts too. Usually it's because I throw an idea in there but never develop it. Every time I look at them, I still don't feel like developing them. And so they sit.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Personally - I think that "Mommy Does A Really Good Impression Of You!" Deserves a shot.

I should really take a note here and not feel the need to publish EVERYTHING I write... The world would be a better place for it.

Lady Mama said...

Lisa - thank you, I'll let you know about the hair!

Liz - I think these short versions of them are much better!

Kate - No way I love your posts!

Ash-Matic said...

Some of these sound hilarious.
Please post the treadmill one!

MamaBug said...

First comment the way you write and thought these Unpublished posts were very funny!
Perusing through other posts, your boys are gorgeous and the picture post made me laugh...I never have a post with my 3 boys looking in the same direction. It'd be funny if it weren't so exasperating!


MamaBug said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mom101 said...

If you don't publish that sexy library post, I'm going to hold it against you forever.

Kristy said...

Typically, the over-emotional, melancholy ones sit in my drafts folder. Yours, honestly, sound a lot more interesting than mine!

Loukia said...

I agree with Liz - you should publish that sexy library post! And I have at least a dozen of blog posts just sitting there... never going to be published, either!