Friday, March 30, 2012

Weightloss And The Average Food-Loving Woman.

For the past few weeks I've been attempting what I would call a half-diet. Not a full-on, proper diet that requires me to follow a strict plan and a calorie limit or anything like that. More like a general movement toward cutting back on sugar and carbs. And believe me, even that - the simple thing of cutting back - is hard. Oh so HARD.

I once tried to go on a real diet and failed miserably. My colleague, who was doing the diet with me, stuck religiously to the rules, measuring and counting every morsel that passed her lips. I, on the other hand, didn't take it seriously, sneaking in little afternoon treats (that I would surely have died without!) and generally not doing it properly. Needless to say, my colleague lost weight and I didn't.

I just really love food.

And once upon a time, before the yo-yo weight gain / weight loss / weight gain / weight loss of having two children in three years, I had a sense of humour about it. I could laugh about my terrible inability to not eat too much food. Because it didn't matter.

Before I became pregnant the first time in 2006, I weighed 150 pounds and wore a size 8 or 10 US (I'm 5'8"). I'd been that exact weight for a while. It was the weight my body sat at comfortably, the weight at which I didn't diet, didn't deprive myself of anything (within reason), exercised regularly. At that weight I wasn't thin. But I was slim and I was happy with slim.

Today I'm 154 pounds. And believe me when I say it's taken a long, long, very long time to even get back to this point. And, admittedly, not with much effort on my part. Getting back down to here has come mostly through time and a little exercise. I'm getting there but there are still those last few stubborn pounds and those last few extremely stubborn inches.


My son took this picture of me before I left for work, yesterday. 
I realize I'm standing in kind of an awkward way, but this is 
the most recent full-length shot I have of myself!

Of course, even when I lose these last few pounds and inches my body won't be the same as it was before. A small price to pay for two beautiful children though, I'd say.

I'm okay with the extra curves, the not-so-perky bits and bobs, the parts that are no longer taut. Honestly? I don't really care about them. They're just part of who I am, now.

What I really want?

To feel good in a pair of jeans again.

It's not much. I'm not asking for a bikini body, legs that can pull off a mini skirt or an abdomen that can carry a midriff-exposing t-shirt.

Just the jeans, please, fairy god-mother.

So I'm doing this half-diet thing. I'm cutting back. I'm eating more protein and less carbs. Eggs instead of toast for breakfast. Salads and soups instead of sandwiches for lunch. Dinner - a little bit of everything. And little or no snacking in the evening (only almonds or Japanese rice crackers). I'm being sensible. But not all the time. Because being sensible all the time is just not for me.

And after all, I'm just a woman, standing in front of a plate of pastries, asking the pastries for permission to one day eat them again.....

How about you? Do you diet? Or do you find them impossibly hard like me?
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10 comments:

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I need to diet! I've been stuck at the same weight, which is actually the same weight that I was when I found out that I was pregnant with #2, for the past year. But I need to lose 10-15 pounds to be back at the number that I feel best at.
I've been doing the half-diet thing for the past while as well, and it is how I got back to my pre #2 weight and how I have managed to not gain any weight. But now I need to kick it into gear and get serious to lose the last few pounds!
Sounds like you and I are in the same situation!

Lady Mama said...

With me I feel like it's exercise that will tip the scales. That in combination with the half-diet! Good luck to you too.

Bibliomama said...

I've been doing the exact same half-diet thing, and finally back to exercising regularly after spending the last few months getting up close and personal with my physiotherapist (knee thing). I'm on medication that makes it really hard to lose weight, though, so I probably need to go whole-diet, but most diets just end up making you fatter, plus I suck at them. Except that one time when I was sixteen and did it with my mother, and I had a WILL OF IRON. Sorry - apparently this post opened my fat floodgates. I think you look really good.

Lady Mama said...

In the end though you need to do what works for you. For me, doing the full diet is not sustainable - I couldn't live that way normally, therefore I don't see the point of doing it in the first place. And yes, if only we had the wills (and metabolisms) of those sixteen year old girls!

Carmen said...

You look fabulous. And as a thin person, I too never felt the same after my kids. Your body shifts. Jeans I loved no longer fit properly, and it took a long while to find a pair I felt great in again. Now I'm back on the baby weight gain road and I know this baby will shift my body too. I think a half diet is a great plan. You have to also enjoy life. :)

Lady Mama said...

Totally agree, Carmen. Eating is part of my enjoyment of life. I've no doubt you'll get right back to your old self before long after this baby comes - running around after three (!) kids you'll have no choice!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I would comment, but I can't read these kind of posts right now :(, I am to "ED HEAD" right now, but I think you are adorable!

Kristy @PampersandPinot said...

You look fabulous! I find it hard to be really healthy more than 3 days in a row. I've always got to have a splurge, so then I make sure I'm exercising. Ugh. It takes time and stick-with-it-ness!

wendysee said...

Just as I read this I was digesting the two brownies I ate. I made delicious brownies because I love to bake, but I can never keep myself away from the goodies I create. I am not overweight yet, but I feel myself expanding. I need to diet. This blog inspired me. Maybe I'll start... tomorrow.

Metropolitan Mum said...

Helloouuuu! You are back!! I have been so terribly bad at going around and checking blogs, I completely missed your glorious and glamorous comeback. You look awesome, if I might say so.
I am like you and a firm believer in not dieting. The only thing that really works in the long term is half-dieting, or 'taking good care of what you eat' as I like to call it. You go girl!